Kiss and Tell
by Ceyrai
Summary: RyoSaku. The Regulars reveal the stories behind their first kisses reluctantly. But how is it that Ryoma loses out on something that his teammates have won in at least once? // Crack. No shounen-ai.


**Ceyrai Says: **Finally, I get to write a fic with everyone in it! It might be a little hard for me though – I'm not sure I can get the characters down pat. It's the first time I wrote one with all the Regulars in it. Please cheer me on! ((bows repeatedly))

Seigaku Regulars immersed in girl-talk. BELIEVE IT. CHA!

**Notes:**_  
Pair: _RyoSaku, mentions of KaidohTomo, MomoAn_  
Universe: _Canon, future-fic._  
Warnings:_ **NO SHOUNEN-AI.** Sorry, though I'm sort of a fan of Perfect Pair and Golden Pair, I cannot write shounen-ai to save my life. So instead, I'll be writing in OCs that will only be mentioned in passing. Don't worry, they won't even appear (well, except one). Also: Minor swearing. Hormonal freshman. Crack._  
Rip-offs: _Well, I may have taken some of the girls' names from anime that I know, flipped them up a bit, and typed them up.

_Translation Note:_  
Rabu-Rabu: Love-love. Yeah. XD I find it funny. ((is easily amused))  
Shota-con: Shota complex. A Japanism for women (or even men) who are obsessed with young boys.

_Disclaimer: _TeniPuri would be a shoujo manga if I owned it. Be thankful I don't.

* * *

**Kiss and Tell**_  
a maiden's heart is so delicate

* * *

_

The atmosphere was peaceful in the Seishun Gakuen high school tennis courts. Though the members of the two tennis clubs were hard at work improving their skills, it was relatively uneventful – same old, same old.

Which obviously meant that the peace was going to be shattered sooner or later.

And it was.

"MAMUSHI!"

"FSSSSHH!"

Regulars and non-Regulars alike looked up from their break time water bottles, feeling another storm brewing up. It wasn't anything they weren't used to, yet this sort of thing always kept things interesting. Inui sidled closer to the two second years who had each other by the collar. Fuji followed quietly behind, plotting behind his beautiful smiling face.

"Now, now," Oishi said in a gently scolding manner, approaching them, "there's no need to get so violent…" Kawamura nodded, standing beside the vice-captain.

"Nya, what's the argument about today?" Eiji asked in his usual chipper voice, bouncing up and down as he went.

"Probably something stupid," Ryoma muttered. He shook his Ponta can, then peered into it. _Hm, I finished it too quickly…_

All the Regulars by now had gathered around the two, save for Tezuka, who clearly didn't want to get involved in the silliness. "The stupid one is this stupid Mamushi and his stupid opinions about everything stupid!" Momo yelled, pointing at Kaidoh and accidentally jabbing a finger on said youth's cheek.

This did not go over well with Kaidoh, obviously. "Watch where you're pointing, idiot!"

"Who you callin' idiot, loser!"

"Who you callin' loser, idiot who can't even hold his Regular spot for long!?"

"At least I'm not a social recluse who doesn't even know how to look at people without scaring 'em!" Momo sneered, crossing his arms.

"I'm surprised you even know the word "recluse", Momo-chin," Eiji said cheerfully.

Oishi massaged his temple. That was one way of putting fuel into the fire, in his opinion.

"Kikumaru-sempai!" Momo whined. "Take my side!"

"Like anyone would want to take the loser's side," Kaidoh said.

"Lots of people would take my side because I got lots of friends!" Momo retorted.

"Yeah, 'coz you force them!"

_Like I said._ The vice-captain sighed heavily.

"Yeah, well, I've got more friends than you'll ever have, and a girlfriend too!"

Kaidoh scoffed. "After you did some serious ass-kissing with her brother."

"W-well," Momo said, scrambling for a comeback as the other Regulars laughed, "at least I've already gotten my first kiss from her!"

Kaidoh opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again, blushing. Momo didn't notice, because Oishi had already beaten him to voice out an opinion. "Really, Momo, you shouldn't talk about kissing your girlfriend in public – it's rude."

"I dunno," Fuji shrugged. "I kinda want to hear about this." His smile grew wider.

"Actually, Momoshiro," Inui said, flipping through his data book, "Kaidoh has already gotten his first kiss as well."

Stares pierced Inui. His eyes twinkled beneath his glasses.

"I see, I see," Fuji said, nodding as though this was normal.

"_WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?_" Eiji, Oishi, and Momo then yelled as a collective. Kawamura had not cried out loud, but the expression on his face betrayed the same shock. Even Ryoma, who couldn't care less about his sempai-tachi's love lives, was slack-jawed. Tezuka looked at them out of the corner of his eye and thanked the fact he had trusted his gut feeling.

"YOU!?" Momo snarled, pointing a finger at Kaidoh, who hissed again. "The guy who can't even say hello without looking evil!?"

"Inui!" Oishi scolded. "You shouldn't know private things like that, let alone say them in public."

Inui merely pushed up his glasses. "It plays a part in Kaidoh's tennis."

_Excuses,_ Ryoma thought, rolling his eyes. _You're just nosy._

"Who was the girl, nya?" Eiji asked, now even giddier. Kaidoh shrank away, silently cursing Inui for his snooping prowess. "Ne, ne, who was the girl, Kaidoh?" He bounced up and down, dancing around his kouhai. "Who was the girl, nya, Kaidoh?"

"Sempai, don't-" Kaidoh began.

"Osakada Tomoka, class 1-H, cheerleading club, height is 156 cm, weight is 47 kg," Inui recited from his notebook. "Three sizes are-"

"SEMPAI!" Kaidoh now full-out snarled, his tan cheeks flaming.

"Hn, subtle," Fuji mused.

"Wasn't she Echizen's cheerleader?" Kawamura asked.

"I guess she moved on," Eiji said shrugging. Then he grinned. "This is gold, nya! I didn't think you'd be such a ladykiller, Kaidoh!" He thumped Kaidoh's back repeatedly.

"Can't believe sempai already got kissed," Ryoma mumbled.

"Why, jealous he stole your cheerleader?" Fuji asked cheerfully.

"No," Ryoma said, hiding his expression under his cap. That was obvious – everyone knew he and Sakuno were, well, kinda-sort-of-maybe togetherish. Fuji knew that as well as any other Seigaku student did. So what was their beloved freshman so upset about? Fuji had a theory, but he wanted to drag this out as long as he could.

"Ne, Inui," the blue-eyed genius asked, "is Kaidoh's first kiss the only one recorded in that notebook of yours?"

Several faces blanched, excluding Kaidoh's, who was already red, and Inui and Fuji, who were obviously plotting. "As a matter of fact, Fuji, there are others," the data man said, flipping his notebook to the "Rabu-Rabu" tab. "Ah, here it is, the complete list."

"No way!" Eiji cried.

"I-I-Inui…" Kawamura stammered, "I don't think I…"

"Sempai shouldn't have that kind of list," Ryoma said through gritted teeth.

Oishi merely face-palmed.

"Well, as we all know, Momoshiro Takeshi's first kiss was Tachibana An," Inui began. "But there are two interesting facts to note – one, this was _not _Tachibana An's first kiss, and two, Kaidoh Kaoru was kissed by Osakada Tomoka just days _before_ Momoshiro's first kiss."

"_What!?_" Momo now regretted bringing the topic up – it was costing him his dignity. He needed to get the spotlight away from him as the others snickered. "W-well, how about the other sempai?"

"Oishi Shuichiro's first kiss was with a girl named Kahou Hinoko," Inui narrated.

Oishi, face red, tried to stop him. "Inui, didn't I already say-!"

But to no avail. "I wanna listen to this, Oishi-sempai!" Momo exclaimed.

"Interesting, I've never heard of this before," Fuji said.

_Yeah, I bet you haven't_, Kaidoh thought sarcastically.

"Kahou Hinoko: younger sister of the pregnant woman Oishi saved three years ago," Inui continued. "Age at the time of kiss: 17."

"Whoa! An older woman!" Eiji marveled. He looped his arms around Oishi, trying to force a piggyback ride. "Hoi hoi, Oishi-mama, why haven't you ever told me this before? Nya, nya?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this," Oishi said, sighing and accepting his fate. Eiji only continued on swinging on his neck, singing "Wai wai" happily.

"First words post-kiss," Inui continued. Everyone's ears perked up, excluding Oishi's. "_Thank you for saving Oneesan. Ara? You're in shock? Was that your first kiss?_"

Momo asked, "And what was Oishi-sempai's first words?"

"Something along the lines of 'Gmmnnnkkkhhhh,'" Inui replied.

Momo cackled. "Smooth."

"I was fourteen!" Oishi defended, his blush becoming permanent quickly.

It was time to move on as Inui flipped a page. "Kawamura Takashi's first kiss was with his second cousin, Inari Rena."

Ryoma grimaced. "Ew. Your cousin?"

"It's not that uncommon here in Japan," Oishi explained to the US-raised freshman. "People get married to their cousins a lot."

"But still." Ryoma's thoughts landed on Nanako for a brief moment, before sticking out his tongue in disgust.

Kawamura was blushing, but he didn't look too displeased. "Rena-san is really something," he said softly, a hand behind his head. "She's really sweet and caring…"

"Here, Taka-san," Fuji said, slipping a racket into Kawamura's hand.

"BURRRNIIIING!" Kawamura roared, swinging has racket wildly. "OUR LOVE IS FOREVER, BABY!"

Ignoring the rampaging sushi chef-in-training, Inui continued on with his data revealing. "Let's see, Kikumaru Eiji's first kiss-"

"Let me tell it!" Eiji interrupted. "Inui's going to twist it up if he tells it."

"By all means," Fuji said cheerfully.

"Well," Eiji began, pressing his index fingers together like a shy school girl, "I was a freshman here, and we went on a class trip. There was a girl I really liked, Shuu Kourei, because she was smart and witty and always cheerful-"

"Get to the point!" Momo interrupted.

Eiji stuck out his tongue. "Momo-chin, you spoil everything. Anyway, we were all in the inn, and we took a walk in the garden under the moonlight, and she told me she liked me a lot." The acrobatic player grinned like an idiot. "So I kissed her." He put his hands to his cheeks, wiggling in giddiness. "Kya! A maiden's heart is so delicate."

"You're not a maiden," Kaidoh pointed out.

"Yeah, well, anyway, she punched me after that," Eiji continued sheepishly, and everyone fell over anime-style. "But, but! I kissed her again, and she didn't mind the second time around." He grinned, flashing a V-for-Victory sign.

"Wah, that's pretty lucky, Kikumaru-sempai," Momo said. "How come you didn't get together?"

"Well, turns out she only got the courage to confess because she was moving away," Eiji said, shrugging, smiling a little sadly. "I was really really sad after, but I guess that's how first love goes, huh?"

Oishi smiled apologetically and patted his doubles partner's shoulder. "There, there, Ei-"

To Oishi's chagrin, Eiji had already recovered and swatted his hand away. "Nya, Inui, how about you?" he chirped.

"Classified," Inui said right away.

Kaidoh and Momo pointed at him, their fingers millimeters away from his nose. Inui backed away. "NOT FAIR!" the two juniors snarled.

Oishi smiled a little evilly, uncharacteristic of the normally gentle vice-captain. Ryoma, who stood closest to him, shrank away. "I happen to know how it goes," he said nonchalantly, though eager for revenge.

"Oishi-" Inui began.

"Suzuharu Miyabi," Oishi deadpanned. Inui stopped, his face turning pale, then red.

"Not _that_ Suzuharu-sempai, the genius of the Anime club who graduated last year?" Fuji asked, quite intrigued.

"If by genius you mean weirdo, then yes," Oishi said, smiling a little.

"She was really pretty, Suzuharu-sempai was!" Eiji nodded enthusiastically. "She was kinda strange, but she was nice to me! She gave me a lollipop when we were freshmen in junior high!"

"That was because she was obsessed with shota-con back then," Fuji explained.

"…Oh."

"Anyway, Suzuharu-sempai cornered Inui at the Chemistry lab last year and stole a kiss from him," Oishi recounted. "Inui had no idea what to do back then – all his data on Suzuharu-sempai didn't help. It was only after a few weeks that he found out that she was researching for some doujinshi she was making. For some glasses-boy obsession or something."

Ryoma shuddered. "Otaku…"

Fuji stroked his chin. "I wonder why she didn't try to kiss Tezuka though…"

"Because he would've made her run laps," Momo pointed out as-a-matter-of-factly. Kaidoh almost nodded in agreement, but remembered he wasn't supposed to agree with Momo.

"It was… an interesting way to collect data," Inui said, gathering his wits back.

"Admit it – you thought it was a really great kiss," Eiji said slyly. The data man reddened even more.

"Well," Inui said, straightening himself up, "if you're so interested in me then you wouldn't want to hear about Tezuka's first kiss."

Kaidoh, Momo, Oishi, Eiji, and Ryoma all did a double take at the stoic third year, standing authoritatively from a distance, though practice was currently paused. Said third year twitched – he had an idea whom they were going to gossip about next. He just hoped Inui and Fuji weren't going to take it too far.

"_Buchou_ kissed a girl," Ryoma said slowly, trying to absorb the fact.

"Naturally, it would be with the buchou of the female tennis club, Shinohara Yui-sempai, right?" Momo guessed. "I mean, they're pretty close, aren't they? They're always together and stuff…"

"Unfortunately for Tezuka, no," Inui replied. "His first kiss was-" He glanced at Fuji.

Ryoma's jaw dropped. "Not a girl?"

"FUJI-SEMPAI!?" Momo yelled, eyes popping out.

"No way!" Eiji exclaimed. "I sort of thought they'd swing that way a little, but I didn't think it'd actually _happen_!"

"W-well, if you're having problems admitting it, Fuji, we're all here for you," Oishi said, trying to smile through his discomfort.

The muscle under Fuji's eye twitched a little. "You don't really mean that, _Oishi_." Blue eyes peeked out a bit from under the genius's eyelids.

"O-oh, but I do, Fuji!" Oishi said earnestly, though he was obviously uncomfortable with the situation (and, for some reason, could not sense the danger). "I'll help you any way I can!"

Fuji smiled serenely. "Why thank you, Oishi," he said. "I'll even let you in on a little secret now."

"What is it?" Oishi asked politely. He honestly hoped that Fuji wasn't going to recount any _events_ that would make him extremely uncomfortable in Tezuka's presence.

Fuji leaned in to whisper to Oishi.

"_Watch out when you're alone at night._"

The mother hen squawked.

Inui cleared his throat. "Tezuka's first kiss certainly was Fuji," he clarified. Ryoma's jaw hung wider. "Fuji _Yumiko_, Fuji Shuusuke and Fuji Yuuta's elder sister. So if you would dignify us with a closed mouth, Echizen…"

Ryoma hurriedly closed his mouth.

"F-F-FUJI YUMIKO!?" Momo cried out.

Tezuka looked up at the name mentioned and twitched again. They had better not be talking about what he thought they were talking about. _What are some of the greatest high school tennis players in the country doing, gossiping and squealing like a bunch of junior high _girls_?_

"How did that happen without Fujiko strangling Tezuka, nya?" Eiji asked. "I always thought he was protective of his siblings…"

"Well, it was Fuji's idea," Kawamura explained. He had now lost hold of his racket and was back to normal. "It's not really my story to tell, so…"

Inui summarized his notes into a short layman's version. "Basically, Fuji dragged Kawamura and Tezuka to a sleepover when we were highschool freshmen, and for fun, Fuji dared Tezuka to kiss his sister. Tezuka would have none of it, but Yumiko-san was much too into it and initiated the kiss."

"Saa, oneechan likes teasing younger boys," Fuji said, nodding amusedly.

_So the manipulative tendencies run in the family,_ Kaidoh thought, his skin crawling.

"Na, Fuji-sempai, you haven't said anything 'bout yourself yet," Ryoma drawled.

"Ah, you're right, I haven't," Fuji agreed, nodding his head. "Would you like to know?" His voice was gentle and sweet as usual, but by now, the Regulars had learned to detect the undertones of danger in that voice – well, more or less.

"Uh, maybe not today, Fuji," Eiji said hastily.

"It's not like it's going to do anything to you," Fuji insisted.

Ryoma decided to test the limits of safety and crept around the landmine. "So, what happened?"

"Well, it's hard to explain…" Fuji said slowly, still smiling. "I guess I should start from the beginning…?"

"M-maybe not, Fuji," Oishi tried. "Practice will start again in three minutes, so…"

"Shall I just tell you a compressed account?"

"Ah-"

"Go ahead, Fuji-sempai," Ryoma said cockily, a glint in his eye, as though he was sure Fuji would have none to tell.

Ryoma would soon be dismayed as Fuji's blue eyes fully opened. "Well," he said cheerfully, though his expression was clearly challenging their youngest member. "I'm a little confused on where to start… since I have had seventeen first kisses."

Silence.

_Commence Ryoma's Dismay._

Golden cat-like eyes bugged out.

"_Seventeen!?_" yelled Oishi, Eiji, Momo, and Kaidoh. Kawamura mouthed the word.

"It's fascinating, isn't it?" Fuji asked, putting a thoughtful hand to his chin. "Ah… I remember each and every one…"

"How the hell can you have seventeen first kisses!?" Momo exclaimed, for what was the umpteenth time.

Inui adjusted his glasses again, rather unsurprised. "It was done by kissing seventeen girls at least once."

"Ah!" Eiji said, smiling and tapping a fist into his palm in an "I-get-it" gesture. "Fuji kissed seventeen girls!"

Then, with a look of horror, he realized what he just said.

"FUJI KISSED SEVENTEEN GIRLS!?"

"I wanted to see what the hype was all about, y'know, about kissing being nice and all," Fuji explained cheerfully, as though he was telling them how he prepared for school that morning, or something equally mundane. "It was only by the time I got to the seventeenth girl that I realized how nice it was."

"You had to go through seventeen girls just to know it's _nice_?" Oishi asked, more than incredulous. "Why couldn't you just date someone?"

"Don't you think it's more fun this way, Oishi?" Fuji replied rhetorically. "Anyway, all the girls seemed to like it, so no harm done. But then they started pestering me for dates after…"

"Of course they would!" Momo cried. "I mean, you _kissed_ them!"

"This is stupid," Ryoma muttered, pushing his cap down. "I can't believe sempai-tachi really like to listen to this sort of crap." He started walking away. "I'm going to practice alone."

"Aw, we upset Ochibi!" Eiji said.

"Now, now, Echizen – practice will start in a couple of minutes, in any case," Oishi called, but the freshman paid no heed.

"Just 'coz you're not comfortable with it doesn't mean it's crap!" Momo hollered after him.

"Saa, let him be, Momo," Fuji said calmly, loud enough for Ryoma to hear. Fuji put a hand on Momo's shoulder, smiling benevolently. "After all, he's just a child. Perhaps he's not comfortable with it because he doesn't really know what it's like."

Ryoma stopped walking.

_Oh, shit._

"W-what do you mean, Fuji?" Eiji asked. "Like, Ochibi's never been kissed before?"

_Ohshit._

Kawamura and Kaidoh looked at each other. "You think…?" the power player trailed off.

_I got one before that brat did…?_ Kaidoh asked himself.

"It seems like so," Inui said, his glasses glinting evilly as he realized what Fuji's ultimate plan was. "It's not in my notebook, and this notebook is 93.4 per cent accurate."

_Ohshitohshitohshit._

Momo slowly began to grin. "Oh. Oho. Ohohoho. So that's what it is." He ran after Ryoma, who had frozen in his steps. To the younger boy's annoyance and apprehension, he looped an arm around Ryoma's neck. "So, Echizen, never been kissed, huh? Pretty innocent about the world, aren't ya? Those lips are virgin, eh?"

"Shut up, Momo-sempai!" Ryoma growled, trying to shake Momo off; however, the dunk specialist was _still_ heavier than him. "You're being gross!"

"Momo, you shouldn't tease Echizen so much!" Oishi admonished, running over to them.

"I'm sure Echizen's just secretive about those things, that's all," Kawamura said, though he looked like he was struggling to hide his amusement. "I mean, he _does_ have a girlfriend… I think. Maybe. Sort of. Um…"

"I don't know…" Fuji said, mock-thoughtfully. By then, all those who had taken part in the discussion had gathered around the increasingly humiliated Echizen. "Inui has data on kisses with girls who don't even go to this school… I think it would make sense that he would have data on Echizen and Ryuuzaki-chan's first kiss – that is, _if_ they've had one."

"So that's why you were so quiet, Ochibi!" Eiji exclaimed, putting his weight on Ryoma as well. "It's okay, nya – lots of people don't get kissed till they're 40. You're not alone, Ochibi!"

"I bet Ryuuzaki-chan's only waiting for him to make the move," Momo said all-knowingly. "But Echizen just doesn't have the balls." He grinned. "Poor Ryuuzaki-chan."

"Would you guys shut up!" Ryoma yelled, trying to get out of his "doting" sempais's death-grip. "This isn't any of your business!"

"Now, now, Echizen, no need to be so violent. If you're not ready, there's no need to force it."

"Yeah, I'm sure Ryuuzaki-chan's not _that_ upset you haven't kissed her yet, nya. She's probably thinking that you're just shy, or that you're not comfortable with public displays of affection, or that you don't really like her- oops."

"Poor Ryuuzaki-chan… her sorta-kinda boyfriend's a pathetic wimp! Haha!"

"Chances Ryuuzaki Sakuno is waiting for Echizen's move, 77.2 per cent, give or take 0.3 per cent."

"Lot's of people get scared of their first kiss, Echizen, but it's going to be okay."

Somewhere in the background, Kaidoh merely snickered.

Fuji smiled at Ryoma, gleeful that his plan was going so well. It was time to drive the last nail in. "Say, Inui, do you have data on whether or not Ryuuzaki-chan has been kissed yet?" He watched sadistically as Ryoma turned a nice, bright shade of angry crimson. "Or maybe Echizen wants her broken in first, if you know what I mean, because I'd be happy to-"

"_I'm going to murder_ all_ of you_," Ryoma snarled in his darkest tone. Sensing an even more dangerous aura than Fuji's, all the Regulars backed away from him in apprehension till they were out of his two-meter radius. The dark-haired freshman stalked out of the male tennis courts, shaking his head and growling under his breath.

"Hoi, hoi, where's Ochibi going off to?" Eiji asked.

"O-oi, he's heading to the girls' tennis courts!" Momo said.

"Saa, this is getting even more interesting," Fuji murmured, and made to follow Ryoma.

"W-wait, Fuji, he really is going to murder us-"

"Catch, Taka-san."

Kawamura instinctively caught the racket that was tossed to him. "BURNING! LET'S SEE ECHIZEN'S PASSION, BABY!" He took off running past Fuji, who only laughed and sprinted after him. The other Regulars looked at each other, shrugged, and followed after Fuji.

Shaking his head, Oishi went to follow the rest of the Regulars out of the tennis courts and towards where Ryoma was headed.

"You're all thirty seconds closer to getting 30 laps," Tezuka said monotonously as Oishi ran past him.

"I know," the vice-captain called. If he knew Tezuka, and the Regulars as well, he was sure that the number of laps would have doubled by the time they would all be back. "I'll be doing damage control."

He arrived just in time to see Ryoma entering the courts where the girls' team practiced. "Hey!" the female captain yelled, as he brushed past her towards where Sakuno was sitting with her water bottle, talking with another team member. "Echizen-kun, how many times have I told you that you can't just barge in here?"

"Ryoma-kun…?" Sakuno said under her breath, brow furrowing, as she watched her sort-of-maybe-ish boyfriend stalk towards her with a determined, slightly crazed expression. She sweatdropped. "What in the…"

"Echizen!" Oishi called worriedly. "Listen to Shinohara-san! She's a sempai!"

"Now, Oishi," Fuji said, "don't be such a spoilsport."

"Yeah, yeah!" Momo and Eiji chorused, the latter hanging on Oishi's neck again. The mother hen of the team felt a migraine coming on. _Along with leg cramps from the laps later._

"Fssshhh," Kaidoh hissed, turning away and headed back to the courts. "I'm not going to get into trouble for something stupid."

Inui caught Kaidoh by the collar. "This is a perfect opportunity for you to learn Echizen's habits, Kaidoh."

"Ch, I already know he's an arrogant brat." Nevertheless, he stopped to watch.

"What's he doing, nya?" Eiji asked, craning his neck. "He's pulled Ryuuzaki-chan up by the arm, nya! She looks weirded out… he's holding her by the waist… wait, what's he up t-"

Suddenly, time and space ground to a halt.

When the world started spinning again, some girls gasped theatrically, others started squealing, and Shinohara-buchou growled, "ECHIZEN-KUN!"

"OI!" Momo yelled, shocked.

"Ohmyholycrackersnappingfish-" Eiji babbled, his eyes wide.

"THAT'S GREAT! BURNING LOVE BABY!"

"Fssshhh… Is he allowed to do that…?"

"…very, very, _very_ interesting data."

Oishi face-palmed again. "We are so getting a hundred laps and a free trip to hell after this…" he mumbled.

"Saa, saa," Fuji said, smiling. "Isn't it worth it, seeing Echizen try and prove us wrong?"

A few meters from them, Ryoma still hadn't pulled back from the mind-blowing, fireworks-filled, heart-stopping kiss he had suddenly decided to give the mahogany-haired girl. He was alternately nibbling and tapping on her lower lip with his tongue, as if asking for permission. One small crack in between her lips opened, and Ryoma's tongue went in for the attack, tangling with hers. He pressed her even closer to his body, wanting to feel her warmth more, and supported her by the arm as her knees began to buckle. The heat emanating from her smooth, toned skin was stopping him from thinking straight, and when she made a small, whimpering noise in her throat, pressing her _soft_ chest against his, it drove him right over the edge.

"Echizen-kun, I'm warning you-"

Ryoma, having got in some last nibbles, pulled back from his kinda-sorta-possibly girlfriend, knowing a threat from a female when he heard one. "…so?" he asked, searching Sakuno's frozen face. "H-how was it?"

"Ryoma-kun…" she murmured, redder than he had ever seen her. As she steadied her swaying body by putting her hand on his shoulder, she mumbled something under her breath.

"…what?" Ryoma asked, leaning closer so he could hear.

"Ryoma-kun…" she ducked her head, "…hit my teeth hard."

It certainly looked like the humiliation wasn't over.

"W-well, at least I kissed you already, right?" Ryoma stammered, looking quite panicked.

"Well," Sakuno murmured, looking away, though she looked rather pleased, Ryoma was relieved to note. "Get the technique and location right next time, okay?" She smiled sweetly at him and uttered three choice words that had him turning tail and running away from the girls's courts. Just outside, the other Regulars were giving him knowing grins.

"There," he hissed irritably to them. "Satisfied?"

Fuji nodded. "Very."

"Sempai," Ryoma growled, his dark aura directed on the smiling genius. He jerked his head in the direction of the male tennis courts. "Match. You and me. _Now._"

"Hai hai." The two of them walked off to the courts, Ryoma still seething about the earlier situation.

Shinohara-buchou was giving Oishi the sort of dangerous smile that could only be achieved by someone with a uterus. "Oishi-kun, let me just tell you now – you and your team will be having a _very_ interesting couple of weeks, courtesy of Tezuka-kun and Ryuuzaki-sensei."

Oishi tried to smile but ended up grimacing. "I sort of felt that already, Shinohara-san."

Inui was scribbling furiously in his data book. Momo tried to peer into it. "Na, Inui-sempai, what're you writing now?"

"Ryuuzaki Sakuno's first words post-kiss."

Momo frowned. "But she said it so quietly! How could you know what she said?"

Inui pushed his glasses up. "I don't know all the words that were said, but she said three very significant words before Echizen ran off. Or may have made him run off." He smiled mischievously. "Three words that we see and hear so often it's no wonder I could decipher it from afar."

"Three words?" Momo asked. "What – like, 'I love you?' Or 'I hate you?'"

Inui shook his head and showed Momo the data book, which left the dunk specialist rolling over in laughter, thankful that bringing up the topic brought some _priceless_ results after all.

…

_Ryuuzaki Sakuno's First Words Post-Kiss:_

_Mada mada dane.

* * *

_

**Ceyrai Says: **I told you it was crack.

Well, maybe "Mada mada dane" might not really count as three words. "Daisuki" or "daikirai," the Japanese equivalents of "I love you" and "I hate you" respectively, don't count as three words either. Bah, blame the language gap. Let's pretend all of them count as three words, okay? Guh. Too complicated.

I was supposed to end it with Ryoma being all cocky and stuff. But then I watched the TeniPuri Chinese drama (DramaPuri, haha) and found Ryoma's portrayal so cocky (though he is, more than ever, a tsundere) that I needed to beat him down a few notches. On the upside, at least Sakuno still likes him despite everything. Heehee.

(I recommend DramaPuri, even if it's Chinese. Well, because Kaidoh has fangirls, Tezuka actually smiles, and there is more RyoSaku than the anime and manga combined. She's the only one he says his real feelings to. Like a diary or something. OMG. I LOVE DramaPuri.)

If you squint, and I mean _really_ squint, you can see shounen-ai bits in the fic. (I only noticed after I re-read the whole thing for editing.) Maybe I do have a future in that genre after all. Or maybe it's only because TeniPuri really _has_ shounen-ai bits if you squint enough.


End file.
